Many Forget the Gratitude Once It Is Received

January 25, 2026

We have all been there. You go out of your way to help a colleague finish a stressful project. You spend your weekend helping a friend move into a new apartment. You connect two people who end up doing great business together. You do it gladly, expecting nothing in return—except, perhaps, a simple acknowledgment.

But then... silence.

The crisis is averted, the boxes are unpacked, the deal is signed, and you are suddenly invisible. It’s not that people are necessarily malicious; it’s just that once their problem is solved, their brain hits "reset." The relief of having the need met washes away the memory of the person who met it.

Icelandic has captured this frustrating phenomenon in a proverb that is as relevant today as it was a thousand years ago:

"Margur gleymir þakklætinu þegar þegið er."

The Amnesia of Relief

The proverb translates literally to: "Many forget the gratitude once [the gift] is received."

It speaks to the short shelf-life of appreciation. When we are hungry, we are desperate for bread. We promise anything to the baker. But the moment we are full, the bread is just a crumb on the table, and the baker is just a guy in the background.

This "gratitude amnesia" happens because our brains are wired to focus on immediate problems. When the problem exists, we are hyper-focused on the solution (and the helper). When the problem vanishes, our focus shifts to the next fire we need to put out.

The Advantage of "Thank You"

While this proverb sounds a bit cynical, it actually reveals a massive hidden opportunity for you.

If "many" forget the gratitude, that means the person who remembers is a rarity. In a world of transactional relationships and quick-fix interactions, a genuine "thank you" is a disruption. It stops people in their tracks.

When you take the time to circle back and express thanks after the dust has settled, you distinguish yourself from the crowd. You become the person who values the human connection, not just the result.

It Makes You Memorable: In a sea of people who take things for granted, the grateful person shines like a lighthouse.
It Fuels Future Generosity: People love to help those who appreciate it. It’s human nature. If you make someone feel seen and valued for their effort, they will instinctively want to help you again.
It Builds Real Bridges: A transaction ends when the goods are delivered. A relationship begins when the gratitude is expressed.

How to Be the Exception

So, how do you use this ancient wisdom to improve your modern life? Simple: Be the one who remembers.

The "Day After" Rule: Missed the chance to say thanks in the moment? Send a text the next day: "I was thinking about how much you helped me yesterday, and I really appreciate it." This small gesture proves your appreciation wasn't just a reflex. Remember, it is never too late to show your gratitude.

Be Specific: Don't just say "Thanks for the help." Say, "Thank you for staying late to fix that error; it saved me a huge headache." Specificity proves you were paying attention.

Make Someone’s Day: Never underestimate the dopamine hit of being appreciated. Your simple note might be the only time that person feels valued all week.

Close the Loop

The proverb warns us that "Many forget." But you don't have to be one of the many.

In a fast-paced world where everyone is rushing to the next thing, take a breath. Look back at the people who helped you get where you are today. Send the note. Make the call. Say the words. By refusing to forget the gratitude once the gift is received, you turn a momentary favor into a lifelong bond.

Word	Meaning
Margur	Adjective/Pronoun, masculine singular. Meaning "many people."
Gleymir	Verb (gleyma), present tense. Meaning "forgets." (Takes the dative case).
Þakklætinu	Noun, neuter singular, dative (definite). Meaning "the gratitude."
Þegar	Conjunction. Meaning "when."
Þegið	Past participle of þiggja (to accept/receive). Meaning "received."
Er	Verb (vera). Meaning "is."