A Friend Is the One Who Warns Another of Evil

January 26, 2026

We all have that one friend who cheers for everything we do. If we say we want to quit our job to become a professional mime, they shout, "Go for it!" If we decide to text our toxic ex at 2 a.m., they say, "Follow your heart!" It feels good to be validated. It feels good to be supported.

But the Vikings, who lived in a world where a bad decision could literally cost you your life, knew that blind support isn't friendship. It’s negligence. They understood that a true friend isn't just a cheerleader; they are a bodyguard. This profound philosophy is captured in the ancient Icelandic proverb:

"Vinur er sá annars er ills varnar."

Translated into English, it means: "A friend is the one who warns another of evil."

The Second Pair of Eyes

Imagine you are walking down a busy street, scrolling through your phone, completely distracted. You are about to step off the curb into oncoming traffic. A stranger might watch you do it. An acquaintance might yell "Watch out!" at the last second. But a true friend? They grab your arm and pull you back before you even get close to the edge.

This is the essence of the proverb. We all have "blind spots"—emotional, financial, or romantic traps that we cannot see because we are too close to the situation.

The Romantic Trap: You think your new partner is "passionate," but your friend sees that they are controlling.

The Financial Trap: You think that "get rich quick" scheme is a golden opportunity, but your friend sees a pyramid.

In these moments, a friend acts as your second pair of eyes. They aren't trying to ruin your fun; they are trying to ruin your destruction. They are standing guard against the "illt" (evil/harm) that you are walking toward blindly.

How to Warn a Friend (Without Losing Them)

The hardest part of this philosophy is the execution. Nobody likes to be told they are making a mistake. If you see your friend walking toward a trap, how do you pull them back without hurting their feelings? You can't just scream, "You're being an idiot!"

Here are three practical, tactical ways to offer that life-saving warning:

The "Columbo" Method (Ask, Don't Tell) Instead of making a statement ("That car is a bad buy"), ask a question that forces them to look at the danger themselves.

Don't say: "She is using you for your money."
Do say: "I've noticed you pay for every dinner. How does that make you feel?"
Why it works: It triggers their own critical thinking without making them defensive.

The "Perspective Shift" Remove them from the equation to help them see the trap objectively.

The Hint: "If our friend Sarah told you she was accepting a job with no contract and no salary, what would you tell her?"
Why it works: It helps them treat themselves with the same protection they would offer others.

The "I Notice" Technique Frame the warning around your observation, not their character.

The Hint: "I’ve noticed that ever since you started hanging out with that group, you seem more stressed and less like yourself. I just wanted to check in on that."
Why it works: It comes from a place of love ("I miss the happy you") rather than judgment ("You are acting weird").

The Courage to Save You

"Vinur er sá annars er ills varnar" teaches us that friendship requires courage. It is easy to be the "yes-man." It is easy to let your friend make a mistake so you don't have to have an awkward conversation.

But a true friend is willing to save the friend. They are willing to be unpopular for five minutes to keep you safe for a lifetime. So, look around your circle. Who are the people who simply nod at everything you say? And who are the ones brave enough to grab your arm when you’re stepping off the curb? Keep the grabbers. They are the ones who truly love you.

Word	Meaning
Vinur	Noun, masculine. Meaning "friend."
Er	Verb. Meaning "is."
Sá	Pronoun. Meaning "the one."
Annars	Pronoun, genitive. Meaning "another's."
Ills	Noun/Adjective, genitive. Meaning "evil," "harm," or "bad things."
Varnar	Verb (varna). Meaning "warns against," "prevents," or "defends."